39 weeks + 5

Well I'm still pregnant. If anyone hasn't realized....

Really getting sick and tired of the comments/questions. "omg you're still here?" "haven't popped that baby out yet huh?" Nope I'm still here. If I had a choice I'd be at home curled up in bed hating life.

Ya spirits aren't too high currently.

Got through the wedding in Gettysburg this weekend. Was a good time except for the size of my feet afterward. Here's some pics from it.

Went to another appointment yesterday. Sadly they would not schedule my induce date until Friday. So at the very latest Avery Joshua will be born Friday, May 2nd.

I'm still hoping he makes an appearance sooner than that. The doctor even stripped my membranes yesterday. After reading up on it more seems like some people went into labor a few hours after that happened and of course others still waited a week before their baby was born. I really wish there was a way that actually works to get this baby out! I'm tired of trying every idea in the book and nothing working out.

So ya just so everyone knows. NOTHING YET, YES I'M STILL PREGNANT!!! AHHHHH

The 5% I never wanted to be a part of...

Went to my 39 week appointment yesterday. I have not progressed... :(

Still 4cm 80% effaced.

And then the doctor told me this. 95% of women do not walk around for a week being 4cm.

I AM THE 5% THAT DO!!!! WTF!!!!

Basically 95% of women would have had their baby by now. But not me. Apparently Avery just wants to stay in there forever!

So here's the deal. I spent all week doing everything I could to start labor. Now I've decided I'm not going to do anything. I have a wedding to go to in Gettysburg tomorrow. It's like an hour and 20 minutes away from my house. I AM GOING TO THAT WEDDING! So now Avery just needs to stay put until Sunday afternoon.

Also made a doctor's appointment for Monday. Doctor said if Avery doesn't show by then we can make an appointment to induce. I think I'm going to shoot for April 29th or April 30th. Then I can still have May all to myself for my bday haha. Yes I know selfish and ridiculous. But May is mine. My birthday, mother's day, and my wedding anniversary. Avery can share April with my husband since his bday is in April too.

Didn't take a chalkboard pic yesterday but here's a funny selfie of me!

Can I Give Up Yet?

I'm ready to throw in the towel. I just want to give up.

I can't deal with the pain, lack of sleep, feeling like crud, etc.

My clothes don't even fit anymore. Better yet this morning I ripped my shirt a little bit trying to put on deodorant because everything is so tight! Of course I still wore the shirt because I was not going to take the effort to actually pick out a new outfit that would also not fit me.

I would love to be able to actually sleep. Like not wake up every two hours to pee. Being pregnant gives rolling out of bed a whole new meaning. You really do have to roll. Then once you stand up everything slumps down and you remember the lovely pain your pelvic area is in.

Who knew being pregnant was also so unattractive. The stretch marks are overtaking my stomach. They have been all over my boobs for awhile. But now they are invading my stomach. Where my belly button was pierced looks like a root system of stretch marks. The thing that sucks about it all right now is the fact that now that I have all these lovely stretch marks I won't even look cute after I'm pregnant. Because not only will I be attempting to loose the 40 pounds I have gained I am now sporting lovely purple and red stretch marks. Goodbye bikinis I'll miss you. It's one thing to be unattractive while pregnant, but now knowing that I'll be unattractive afterward just depresses me even more.

O right depressing me. Can you say let's cry and freak out constantly? Yep. My dad said yesterday that he never had fun on our family beach trips and it took all my energy to not break out in tears in front of my parents, husband, aunt, uncle, and cousin. Also I'm pretty much just a bitch now. I'm mean to my husband about stupid stuff. And I don't want to put up with anyone's stupid stuff. O you have pain, go F yourself. O you're dealing with some family issues, get a life. Yep that's me currently. Huge, raging, emotional, fat, bitch. The end.

Please come soon Avery. I'm starting to not recognize myself.

Blah

Well I've had a somewhat exciting past couple days. More like annoying I'd say though.

Woke up Thursday morning to having two cups of clear fluid just pour out of me. Well I had assumed that meant my water broke and time to head to the hospital. So we get ready and head on over. After a couple tests they decide my water has not broken.... Maybe I just peed myself? So we get sent home....

After that I decided to work from home. After smelling what had spilled on the floor and everything else I was still convinced my water had broken. By the way I even attempted to take the 2 tablespoons of castor oil in orange juice. Definitely did not work. Continued to have contractions that day, but still no baby.

Friday morning. I'm still completely convinced my water did break on Thursday. Decide I'm going to work from home just in case. Call the doctor, tell them I think my water did break, was told to head back to the hospital.

Drive to the hospital yet again. Run a couple more tests. Including an ultrasound to see if Baby Avery is still living in liquid. He is. So I get sent home once again.

Doctors, everyone says I probably won't make it through the weekend.

On Friday I was 4cm 80% effaced. Seems like labor should start any second right? Well definitely not.... Even the doctor's were like any day now.

Spent Friday trying other techniques. Walking, taking primrose oil, etc. Nothing...

Spent Saturday trying again. More walking, sex, primrose oil. Nothing....

Spent Sunday trying again. Walking, primrose oil, even nipple stimulation. NOTHING

So I've decided he's just not going to come out. I'm going to be huge forever with my baby living inside of me. The end.

So now today is Monday. I'm back at work feeling like a fool because everyone thought I was going to have this baby on Thursday. "Yes I'm here" "Nope baby is still here" AHHHH

Wish me luck. I WANT THIS BABY OUT!!!!

Advancement!

Yay! I have advanced in the world of pregnancy!

2 cm dilated and 70% effaced.

For those of you who don't understand what that means here's a chart. By the way I also didn't really understand it until seeing this chart.

This is the least gross chart I found.

p.s. do not google image search "dilated and effaced" scary stuff.....

37 Weeks

How far along? 37 Weeks

Total weight gain/loss: A million.... 37 pounds
Maternity clothes? Almost growing out of most of my maternity clothes! In this picture I look like a lamp shade! haha!

Stretch marks? Major sad face on this one :(  I found 3 yesterday. I barely saw them. They were like below my stomach where I can't really see. So 3 on my tummy, lots on my boobs
Sleep: Sleep? Who can sleep when you're peeing 4-5 times a night!!!!???? 
Best moment this week: All the ladies at Starbucks talking to me about being pregnant haha
Have you told family and friends: Yes
Miss Anything? I've decided when I legit start drinking again we should join a wine club at a local winery. Sitting around at a winery bachelorette party with my one token glass of wine sucked! 
Movement: Yes lots, not so crazy flipping anymore, mostly just kicking. 
Food cravings: Still cake. And pizza. 
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope
Have you started to show yet: I've been asked if I'm hiding a kickball under my shirt
Gender prediction: We know it's a boy!
Labor Signs: Definitely been having some contractions. Kind of feels like cramps. Also feels like he's kicking me in the vag. Your stomach gets all tight and weird. 
Belly Button in or out? I'd say it's flat
Wedding rings on or off? On, but my feet are starting to look like you blew up a rubber medical glove
Happy or Moody most of the time: Mostly happy, but the pelvic pain is really starting to get to me. I just feel huge!!!! 
Looking forward to: Doctor's appointment today. Hopefully I'm more dilated this week than last week!

My ankles are disappearing...

Here's my feet at my wedding last May....

Here's my feet now.... AHHHH

Ankles = gone....

Anyway...
Went to my doctor's appointment on Tuesday. Turns out I'm already 1cm dilated! YAY!!!! After we found that out she told me to go home pack my hospital bag and make sure the carseat was in the car. OMG! After reading a bunch being dilated 1cm it could mean anything. I could go into labor tomorrow or it could take me another 3 weeks. So who knows. She told me I probably wouldn't make it until 40 weeks. I'd love to be done NOW! The only problem is the amount of things I have to do in April. Bachelorette Party, Wedding, Parents Going out of Town, and another Wedding. Guess he'll come whenever he's ready. Totally be happy with an April baby rather than a May baby. Then I can still have my birthday month to myself! haha!